...In which our heroine loves the lads.

So a while back, I confessed my girl crushes. Women are the fairer sex, but I can only envy them and seeing as I do like the boys, as frustrating and enigmatic as they may be.  Mary-Louise Parker, despite her failings as Nancy Botwin, says it well in this thank-you note to men from Esquire magazine:

Manly creature, who smells good even when you don’t, you wake up too slowly, with fuzzy, vertical hair and a slightly lost look on your face as though you are seven or seventy-five; you can fix my front door, my sink, and open most jars; you, who lose a cuff link and have to settle for a safety pin, you have promised to slay unfortunate interlopers and dragons with your Phillips head or Montblanc; to you, because you will notice a woman with a healthy chunk of years or pounds on her and let out a wolf whistle under your breath and mean it; because you think either rug will be fine, really it will; you seem to walk down the street a little taller than me, a little more aware but with a purpose still; to you who codifies, conjugates, slams a puck, baits a hook, builds a decent cabinet or the perfect sandwich; you who gives a twenty to the kids selling Hershey’s bars and waits at baggage claim for three hours in your flannel shirt; you, sir, you take my order, my pulse, my bullshit; you who soaps me in the shower, soaks with me in the tub; to you, boy grown-up, the gentleman, soldier, professor, or caveman, the fancy man with initials on your towels and salt on your chocolates, to you and to that guy at the concession stand; thank you for the tour of the vineyard, the fire station, the sound booth, thank you for the kaleidoscope, the Horsehead Nebula, the painting, the truth; to you who carries me across the parking lot, up the stairs, to the ER, to roll-away or rice mat; to you who shows up every so often only to confuse and torment, and you who stays in orbit, always, to my left and steady, you stood up for me, I won’t forget that; to you, the one who can’t figure it out and never will, and you who lost the remote, the dog, or your way altogether; to you, wizard, you sang in my ear and brought me back from the dead, you tell me things, make me shiver; to the ones who destroyed me, even if for a minute, and to the ones who grew me, consumed me, gave me my heart back times ten; to most everything that deserves to call itself a man: How I do love thee, with your skill to light fires that keep me warm, light me up.

Admittedly, my taste is...let's say, unique, and oft-questioned. No, I do not think Tom Cruise, Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, or Channing Tatum are attractive. Washboard abs (except Brad Pitt's in Fight Club) do nothing for me. I do not get excited about Hollister attire or Axe body spray, which for the record, is suffocating. Dark hair, however,  is an absolute must. 

The theme should be obvious in these, my list of boy crushes, in this Tiger Beat only edition of Katydid in the City:

Nathan Fillion - Oh Malcolm Reynolds, Dr. Pomatter, Captain Tightpants, or Dr. Horrible. You're just as funny as you are handsome.

Clive Owen - There are lots of adorable British boys including Ewan McGregor and James McAvoy, but his overall badassery bests them all.

Jon Hamm - He defines tall, dark, and handsome as Don Draper. I love the perpetual five o'clock shadow.

Emile Hirsch - A very promising actor, he looks way better rocking the hippie beard and long hair.

Colin Meloy - Of The Decemberists. His voice is far from sexy, but his wordplay makes up for it. I've got the hots for the smarts.

Ryan Gosling - Sadly, he looks best all cracked out in Half Nelson. But I wouldn't say no anytime. And he's a musician? Have mercy.

Zach Galifianakis - Yeah, a weird one, I know. But the beard is awesome and he's really funny, so I'm in.

Jim James - Of My Morning Jacket. My current obsession - the four hour bootleg of Bonnaroo 2008 is in heavy rotation. I want to be his hippie bride and tour with MMJ everywhere. Awesome beard, awesome voice, awesome lyrics. And he loves Neil Young. So cute.

Seth Rogen - We're destined for each other, I'm pretty sure, seeing as I could provide a list of ten ways we're meant to be together, but my BFFF already took that quiz in pink gel pen. The slimness and lack of beard have made him slip in the rankings lately, but I still heart him the most.

I promise to make a serious post to combat this nonsense. Maybe.